one year.

Today. Today, I sit in my little room with the window wide open to the cool air that a grey, foggy day in northern california sends a blowin'. It seeps into my room slowly, caressing my two lovely potted plants, winding around puppy driving him closer to his heater, slinking over my giant pile of dirty laundry, nodding a slow hello to the pile of books on my desk, finally greeting me with a cool kiss on the cheek. It finds me in the far corner, nestled under my quilt, eating a chocolate chip cookie, and thinking about the last year. One year ago today I arrived with very little fanfare to a brand new big city. Fresh out of the Arizona heat, I plummeted into the windy, cloudy, cold weather that is a San Francisco summer. I was wide-eyed, ready for adventure, and looking to change the world. I'd like to think that I still am. What a year it has been, friends. A year of shattered ideals, changing course, and loneliness. A year of rediscovering faith, finding passion, and amazing new people. I can't believe it's been an entire year. I feel like I am living in an entirely different lifetime than when I drove down Williams Street one Saturday morning in May, away from the Fortress and my life as I knew it. I have no regrets about leaving Phoenix, and the quite content life I had built there. And, I've done some amazing things since moving on. I forget, sometimes, that I'm doing amazing things here. They get lost in my awe at the crazy, world changing, insane adventuring things my friends are up to all around the world. So, I feel the need to cap off this year by listing some of the things that have been especially fantastic to me:
-worked for a company I've worshipped for quite some time. learned how it works, and how it doesn't work. seen a crowd of 5,000+ people cheer and applaud a show that I worked on. stayed with people of all walks of life all over northern california.
-worked for multiple companies i learned about in college, mainly those known for doing interesting, socially relevant work, and pushing the boundaries of art.
-3 tours.
-stage managed and lighting directed a show that was reviewed in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the San Francisco Chronicle, and played to sold out houses in Washington, D.C., New York, and San Francisco.
-have not had any jobs or any form of income other than theater/dance.
-dreamed instead of having nightmares every night.
-taught kids in elementary and middle school.
-learned to drive my stick shift car up and down the SF hills like a pro
-walked to work more frequently than driving.
-learned to cook a fantastic cous cous
-made the leap to eating vegetarian
-discovered my favorite places in SF for long talks, swinging, beaching, eating, bowling, book shopping...
-loved my AZ friends more than ever
-joined a company that I love, working for them year-round, having input into what's next (both short and long term), and how it should run
-been asked to take a full time year round position.
-turned it down in favor of freelancing.
-learned on the go to production manage (and am good at it)
-sat in diners, in parks, on loading docks, in the mime troupe kitchen and had amazing, life changing, totally mundane, argumentative, loving, joyful, tearful, introspective, trash talking, totally defeated, completely empowered conversations with incredible people.
and, most importantly
-been really truly happy with the person I've become for the first time in my life. even when i feel totally alone and totally defeated, i am not ashamed at how i got there, or of being there.

As I said to one of my housemates last night, it's been an amazing year. I got to SF thinking I want to be a lighting designer for political theater. A year later, I want to stage manage socially relevant modern dance. My entire worldview has changed. In a good way. What a wonderful life I'm leading.