Tempe, Tucson and....Oakland?

So. Hey there. Sorry it's been so long, but life has been boring, and work heavy. So. Here are the basics. Gonna be in Tempe/Mesa/Phoenix whatever area from Dec 17-21st. Tucson from the 21st-28th, then I fly out of Phoenix back to O-town early the 29th. In other news, I am moving yet again. This is really going to be the last time for a while. Anyways, as of Jan 1 I will reside in an East Oakland theater/nightclub turned collective living space that also runs an 80 seat theater. It'll be a significant amount of time until everything is all pretty and working, as we are remodeling to make it...well....livable. There are no "bedrooms" or showers at the moment, although the kitchen is working nicely so far. Right now, we are a group of 9 (with a probable 10th on her way to meet us) with love for this crazy space and this crazy idea. We are just at the very beginning of planning stages, figuring out where we are going to make rooms, and what common areas are going to be, and how to run this space (the living space, the theater, and the mixed media gallery) and work together. It's crazy and exciting and I'm horribly nervous in the best possible way. All I know is that we've all given notice where we currently live, so we better get crackin' on those showers....otherwise we're gonna have 9 very smelly people come January 1 (one person is already living there....she's using a friend's nearby house for showers...which we can all do if we have to, and we probably will). Pictures soon. XO

Eep

So, following firing someone for the first time, hiring someone for the first time, and many other career related firsts this year....I'm writing my first resignation letter. And, I have no idea how to do it. Help?

Also, I am writing and submitting it soon (before probably about Dec 15th), and I am still working for the company very closely for another month and a half or so after that. So, it has to be....well...not make people angry.

In other news....I'm looking for a place to live, again. But, I'm not stressed or rushed about it this time, and I will take the time to make sure that this is the right place for me, and that I actually get along with my roommates and other important things. Also, in Portland visiting Marcus and the family Galen for about a week. It's nice to have a vacation and see Marcus. Although, instead of totally relaxing and not thinking about SF or work or things that stress me out....I'm writing a resignation letter and looking for a place to live (via CL) and working a little bit on my kid's upcoming show. Wheee.

A Gentle Reminder

Tomorrow is election day. Chances are that you're well aware of this, and have decided how you're voting on every little bitty thing on the ballot. Or, maybe you've already voted by mail (and got your sticker). Maybe you've filled out your vote by mail, and are about to drop it off at City Hall. Anyway. Here's me reminding you to vote tomorrow.

Hey There

It's been a while. Nothing much is new. Had a few shows. Taught a few classes. Drank some tea. Talked about politics at the bar, the bowling alley, several theaters, my kitchen, friend's kitchens, on the phone, on the street, on the bus, on BART, and anywhere else I've been in the last 2 months. Read a few plays. Watched some movies. Had some tasty food. Left many many long voicemails on Marcus's phone. Planned vacations (Portland for Thanksgiving, Phoenix/Tucson for Christmas, and Mexico City/Zacatecas in April to visit Zach). Spent long evenings in a booth at Noc Noc with Mario. Felt the burn of not having an entire day off since sometime in August. My life is pretty boring, and busy and stressful and completely wonderful. Yesterday, I sat in my kitchen working away on my lappy, drinking tea, wearing slippers and my grandmother's overly large extra comfortable sweater, and made split pea soup. I welcomed fall in a most delightful way, listening to the rain and enjoying the grey. Don't you wish you were here to sit in my kitchen, have a cup of tea and a bowl of soup, and listen to the rain? It's quiet and still and perfect. As long as you have warm socks.

I'm going to this on Saturday. Wanna come with me? It sounds pretty much totally fantastic. Also, who can beat 2 hours of dance for $1.50? Let's celebrate this city, and the dance community and mass transit all at the same time.

on unions.

I went to dinner with a bunch of new people last Sunday night. On my way there, I called Marcus in a panic....expecting to be awkward and silent and uncomfortable and generally terrified. Instead, I had some very tasty eggplant (and a few stolen polenta fries from the plate of that cute boy sitting next to me...the one that was introducing me to his friends) at a fantastic little restaurant that I had never been to, and the talk was mostly of politics (and a little bit of music, seeing as all the boys attended Berklee together) and I mostly sat silent and listened to these people talk about things and ideas and people in a really fantastic way. I chipped in a bit about Cindy Sheehan, the bail out, and later, after a few drinks at Mission Bar, unions. Then, I worked a week in which the good unions do for all workers, not just their members, was in my thoughts on frequent occasions.

Unions. I work in an industry dominated by an entire alphabet of unions: IASTE, USA, AEA, SAG, WGA, AGMA, AFTRA, DGA and many more. I've been asked countless times why I haven't joined a union. The reason I can make a living is because I can do so many different things. Right at this moment, I just finished running the light board for a show (closed yesterday), I'm stage managing a show that opens on the 24th, production managing another show, and doing the lighting design for yet another. If I joined a union, I would be making significantly more per show or hour, but I would have less (or no) choice about which shows I could work on, and what I could do for them. I may eventually join AEA, but I've found I really prefer stage managing dance. So, no union for me. However, the thing about the performing arts is that pretty much everyone works on union standard. This means that as a stage manager, I get breaks during rehearsal. This means that when I work a 12 hour electrics call, I must get 2 meal breaks and I get overtime after 8 hours. Last night, I ran a show and went right into strike. I got a meal penalty...which basically means that because they couldn't give me an hour off for a full dinner break, they had to provide dinner for us, and I stayed on the clock while I ate it. I'm not a union stagehand. I will never be a union stagehand. But, I benefit greatly from the standards IATSE has set for treating it's workers. These rules keep me, audiences, and performers safe, they make sure I get fed, I don't have to work unhealthy and unsafe hours, and I actually like my job instead of feeling overworked and miserable at the end of a 13 hour day. From an outsiders point of view, 4 hour minimums, meal penalties, crew minimums, and the myriad of other intricate rules IATSE has may seem frivolous, especially in a time that theaters are losing their funding in massive amounts. They aren't. If we make a mistake, there is a very real possibility people could die. You don't want someone that's been working on a ladder for 7 hours without food or a break to be hanging heavy things about your head, do you? Next time you go to a show, and there are lights over your head, give a little bit o' love to collective bargaining, fare wages and a safe workplace for all. Unions benefit all workers, not just their members.

too much, sometimes

My sleep schedule is a wreck for a variety of reasons. I find myself exhausted at random points during the day, and then fantastically energized at others. This seems to have no correlation to what I've been doing, how much sleep I've had, or the time of day. The thing about this freelance thing is that my schedule varies wildly day to day, week to week. I can't get a normal sleep schedule. Lame.

Life is tired. And busy busy busy. And yelling at the pres and vice pres candidates (all of them). And making plans to get out of the city. And loving the city. And maybe starting to feel like I'm figuring it out here. Getting ready for shows and visits and care package sending and bus taking and walking around and spending too much time in the coffee shop drinking tea and working.

good lord, my life is boring

I feel like I should write something, just so you all know I'm still alive. Often in the past few weeks I've thought of a brilliant blog topic, only to forget it or (more commonly) decide it's actually pretty stupid. I'm all settled in my apartment. I'm all buddy buddy with my sort of crazy, but in a mostly good way, roommate. We cook dinner for each other and talk about our days and stuff. Also, we watched the debate together last night (he has a tv), and he laughed as I yelled back at the tv. I closed Candide. It was good. I'm spending some serious time in the LEVYdance offices working on our home season (for reals, I will cry if you live in SF and don't come...November 12-15), and more time in coffee shops working on everything else, and home season. I've fallen in love with tea. I've learned the bus system. I've been on dates. I've booked more shows. I've made friends visiting plans (Portland Nov 19-28, Phoenix Dec 19-21ish, Tucson Dec 22-29). I'm working on this interesting dance/theater piece about VietNam called The 5th Book of Peace. Too early to tell if it's awesome, but it kind of reminds me of a poor man's version of Movin' Out with text. I've followed the financial crisis in horror and terror, more so after talking to my parents....they can understand and explain how and it happened, and why none of the bailout plans they are discussing now will help at all, but neither of them have any ideas what will help. I've picked up enough of the financial knowledge of my fantastic parents to know that cutting the capital gains tax will have absolutely no effect. Silly super right-wing republicans.

Debate thoughts:
Nothing new, nothing unexpected. Two things that particularly struck me:
1) How much higher the level of debate was than in the last two series of debates. Both candidates were well informed, and had direct contact with each other, and answered a good portion of the questions (also, Jim Lehrer, you are amazing).
2) No one has any idea how to fix the financial crisis. Neither candidate offered any bit of a solution, and in McCain's case, a frightening budget freeze on everything except defense. Neither gave an opinion about what is currently on the table in Congress, or what they are even discussing at the moment. As my very wise mother said last night as we re-hashed via phone, "The scariest thing to me is that nobody has any clue at all how to fix this." Also, the guy that's been saying nothing's wrong until about a week ago is leading the charge to solve this. Yikes. My mom said that she could tell a good 4 or 5 years ago, as the housing bubble was....bubbling that we were headed for trouble. But, she know's what's what, and has frequent contact with mortgage brokers and the like.

another boring list of updates

-moved (well, still in progress sort of) back to the city. tonight I will sleep in my very own bed for the first time since May '07. my books are unpacked and put on my bookshelf (sorted and alphabetized, of course), my little dresser that my grandmother painted when she was 16 is standing empty, waiting for clothes, my candles sit on a my windowsill, and I am very joyful. I did, however, pick the hottest 2 days in SF since I've been here to move. I was sweaty and miserable and carried all of my boxes by myself.
-opened Candide. come see it.
-fired someone for the first time ever.
-held a formal interview for the first time ever (not related to the firing), and hired him to be my master electrician/lighting assistant for my 6 YES theater shows this year.
-found a replacement for the aforementioned fired person, and she is amazing and totally great.
-lappy broked. trying to fix it. not going well.
-got 3 jobs offers in 24 hours for the same span of time in October. I think that I can take two, passed the third one on to a friend.

in general, i've been working way too much, and spent my only day off in 3 weeks moving all day. i feel totally broke, as every tech theater person in the bay area does at the end of August (every single electrician-y I know either barely made rent, or had to borrow money...I need to remember this for next year, and save more in preparation for this very very slow month of no work). Unpacking and sorting through all my stuff has made me miss my phoenix peeps a lot, as has the difficult task of downsizing by about half in the transition from my big, comfy Tempe house to my tiny little SF apartment. Alright, time for food and packing up my sublet. One more afternoon of moving, and then I have to be done.

this week, oh this week

(oh, Megling, remember, remember that night in my apartment in Mesa? When we talked, for the very first time, about not being able to cope? About meds and friendship and lying about it all? Thanks. And thanks for reminding me 2 years later, as I was dealing with moving and falling really hard for a boy and trying to get him back and graduating and failing a class and getting over mono, how far I had come, and telling me you were proud of me. You are amazing.)

'cause i felt the other one needed it's very own post

Here's what's going on in my life of late:
-In rehearsals for Candide. It's going to be just ok, not great, not painful. Runs August 29-Sept 21st, if you are so inclined. The script is funny, and it's all emsemble-y, which is nice. It'll be funnier if you know things about Voltaire.
-Starting work on LEVYdance's home season. November 12-15. I've seen 2 of the 3 new pieces that are going up, and we're also doing NuNu from the rep. They are all amazing, very diverse pieces. I've seen the beginnings of the 3rd new piece, and it's looking pretty good. You should definitely come see this, as it's a company I love, the show is going to be great, it's in an alley, and it's my first big(ish) design in the city.
-Living in Oakland. I kind of love it.
-Commuting to the city on Wednesdays and Sundays to see my friendies.
-Thinking about what's next. I applied for my first non-theater job post-college on Friday, which created a huge tailspin in my world. I've come out of the swirl of confusion and self-doubt feeling pretty good. It'll be (if I get hired) a flexible retail job, that will be my health insurance job. I have some strangely big holes in my schedule, when I'm teaching strange hours in Marin and will be getting paid enough to live on, but have time to work some more hours but it'd be hard/impossible to take other shows. And, when I'm in crazy tech week(or weeks in the spring for the festival), I can work one or two shifts a week and keep the job/health insurance. I'm feeling good about this, as it's a job I won't hate, that'll be flexible so theater will still be my profession, and they don't expect me to stay forever. And, I will be able to go to the doctor/dentist/get new glasses. The only negative side is that I will probably stay in the east bay (if I get this job). The only gig I have in SF in the coming year is November home season for LEVYdance. I'll commute a lot that week, and once a week or so before/after to see rehearsals/meet with Ben. Other than the sporadic electrics calls (I have 5 days of work this month), that's it in SF. If I'm working this retail job in Berkeley, and mostly working up in San Anselmo, it doesn't make sense to live in the city. Also, I am having a really hard time finding a place to live in my price range. It's cheaper, and there are more options out here. Anyway, we'll see. I haven't stopped looking for a place in the city, because I love love love it there, and I miss my friends and the neighborhood feel (you know, having a coffee shop/restaurant/anything else you could possibly need within walking distance).
-Maybe going to LA for a few days in October. Meeting up with my mom (it's half way), and seeing some friends from AZ that are going to Cal Arts. Had sort of planned an LA trip with another friend, but I feel like it's maybe a bad idea and not actually going to happen. Seeing my mom would be great, too.
-Becoming a bit more active in the local Couch Surfing community. Which is awesome.
-Missing the summer Olympics AGAIN. Although, I can catch up online, I just haven't yet.
-Katie was here last week. It was fantastic. I miss her like crazy, and she should move to SF next year.
-Another ASU friend is moving here this week! That makes 3 of us! Hooray!

Alright. Will be in the city on Thursday during the day for sure. Maybe Wednesday, too, if I can find a place to crash that night. As for Arizona...I thought I had 3 weeks off in December and was going to do a week in Phoenix, a week in Tucson and a week in Mexico. Now it looks like I have about a week and a half off, and if I get this silly retail job I may not be in Phoenix at all. Then, I leave on tour on Dec 31st (look for me in Washington DC, New York, and one more city yet to be named). So, next AZ visit: no idea. Maybe April (that'd make a year...geh). Also, in LA again the first week of April (on tour again), and pac northwest in June.

NOT a blog

So, sometimes I read other friend's blogs and think they are much more interesting than mine. Then I remember, I don't have much to say. I started writing these irregular postings as a way to keep far away friends in the loop. So, this is not a blog. It's a journal that I choose to make public. I'm not saying anything very interesting, new, or world shattering. But, I'm not trying to, either. This is just what's goin' on in my life.

Here's what one of the lovely Dell Arte ladies says 'bout this, and it makes me love her even a little more:

and, oh yeah, just for the record, just because i get shy about it all sometimes: THIS IS NOT A BLOG. for starters, i absolutely detest&depise the word "blog." it's just so gay. ya know?

this is more like a personal journal that's open to the public (or at least my friends list.) and to me, a "blog" implies some sort of open discourse on Matters Important. and also, a lot of self-importance, and that's like the last thing i think of all my blah-blah-blah. it's just that words are fun toys, ya know? (and i super get off on recording in the venacular.) and i couldn't write a piece of fiction if a gun were held to my head since i can only write what i know, ya know? and sometimes these silly words are just hollering to get out of my head.

so, yes.

this is not a blog.

Welcome to Oakland!

+
-no more rush hour bridge traffic commute to rehearsal
-lots of street parking close to my apartment
-my own room
-my two housemates seem to be TOTALLY awesome
-3 windows in my very large room
-sunshine
-shared food with two vegetarians that buy produce at a farmer's market

-
-far from friendies (except Jack and Ed)
-long commute to work at LEVYdance (but not during rush hour, at least, and less days)
-the car parked directly in front of the house: tires slashed, window broken, wires pulled out, obviously been stolen and abandoned. it's been there for a week, apparently.
-i ALWAYS get lost in Oakland. ALWAYS (ok, except on my way to this house...which i took as a good sign)


Attention: shameless plug ahead!
Saturday, August 6th, at Studio Gracia (19 Heron St., off 8th between Folsom and Harrison). Drink. See. Nibble. Dance. LEVYdance hosts the Salon (part deux). I'll be there. Working (and, most likely, drinking lots of beer) and mingling. The first one was muchly fun, and some really great work was shown (and some ok work, but none that I disliked).

Each artist is invited to show 5 minutes - no costumes, no lights, no fuss.
Just raw, risky and fun.

Channel Surf 5 minute New Works by:
Kara Davis (dance)
Nils Bultmann (music)
Elizabeth Castaneda (dance)
Mark David Ashworth (music)
Sarah Chiesa (dance)
LEVYdance (dance)
Marcos Duran (dance)
Chrissy Anderson-Zavala (poetry)
The Cloud City Rejects (music)

two showings, 8:30pm and 10pm
11:30pm-2am
Dance Party!! w/ DJs Pozibelle and Scott

Admission:
$10 at the door

back.

and was seen wearing my plastic rimmed glasses, a v-neck t shirt and drinking a pbr last evening at a trendy dive bar in the mission. the same day that i read the adbusters article about hipsters which has set several people all abuzz. liza, i think, has the best, most optimistic thoughts on this article and hipsterdom in her blog today (check, but don't wreck it...it's under my friends-s-s-s).

anyway.

I'm back in the city. After a lovely drive of sun, good music, and road-trip style bonding, Lindsey B. and I were greeted outside her inner richmond apartment by fog, grey skies, and wind. We promptly scrambled for our hoodies. I put on my hazards and pulled partway into a near by driveway. We unpacked onto the curb, and I watched our stuff/my car as L.B.J. ferrying loads inside. The familiarity of city life enveloped us, feeling strange and not fitting quite right. After 3 days back, I am re-acclimated to sitting in bay bridge traffic, spending 20+ minutes looking for a parking spot, walking, talking and thinking a little bit faster.

I dove right back in, no rest for me. Within 2 hours of being back in the bay area, I had a place to live, and then was on my way to a production meeting. I move into a 1 month sublet in north oakland on Wednesday (after a week on the floor of Lindsey and Gillian's apartment). After that, I'll hopefully move back into the city.

As for Blue Lake. I loved it up there, and I loved Dell Arte. I miss them both terribly. However, I'm not done with San Francisco. I still feel like I have a lot to explore and do and meet here. As for getting a job with Dell Arte. I didn't ask, so it wasn't offered. At some point, I'll probably ask, and it'll probably be offered. For now, I'm content with the likelihood of next summer, a Thanksgiving visit, and talking about how great BL is with Lindsey B.

To sum it up, a phone conversation:
G.L. : Are you happy to be back home?
M.F. :Home? There isn't a place that feels like home to me. But, yes, I'm happy to be back in the city.

and.

Last night, as I sat in the "backyard" (the outdoor amphitheater at Dell Arte) drinking leftover concessions beer and eating cookies, every single person that showed up said that they wanted me to stay. That's a big reason for loving it here.

Also, adding to problems Blue Lake has solved: I lost my designer at some point in the last year. I found it again up here, after 2 very rough shows. Thank goodness.

I'm looking forward to getting back to the city, no matter how much I will miss Blue Lake, and no matter how much it feels like home. I'm getting that little bubble in my stomach that I get every time I am about to return. It's good.

little to say

The festival closed on Saturday. I got sloppy drunk with Lindsey B. I talked to Nick about SF, he told me it will be an entirely different city when I get back. It's true. I will miss this wee little town that has become home. I'll be back for Thanksgiving.

I'll be driving down on Wednesday morning, just in time for a production meeting in Berkeley. Also, I still have no place to live in the city. I'll be crashing on an air mattress in the inner richmond until Gillian and Lindsey get tired of me/i find a place to live, Puppy in tow. So. If you know of a place with cheap rent and good people, give me a call. I have some interviews set up, so it's not looking super bleak, but you never know.

I told a friend today, as we were driving around returning things from the festival, that Blue Lake has solved all my problems. I may not have a place to live, and am looking for a day job for two months, but I have my shit together more than I have in the past year. I have money in my bank account, my student loan payments got reduced because of on time and over payments, I've gotten my self confidence back, I've made good friends, and got a bad ass resume credit. I'm feeling good about life. I have no idea where I'll be in a week, and I'm not terrified.

Also. There are one or three people that I am very excited to see back in SF. That feels good. Hooray for beer and burritos and gossip.

so.freaking.good.

The Dark Knight. So. Freaking. Good. Tried to go at midnight last night, but the only theater having a midnight showing was, of course, sold out by the time we headed into town to buy tickets (after a show....9:30ish). So, went tonight with Søren, Tyler and Lezley (again, after a show). And. So. Freaking. Good.

Also, I only went to work for an hour today, then went back home. Watched a movie in bed. The Matrix. Now, I've never seen the matrix before. And, let me just say, it was really good. I had forgotten all the hype (in fact, was turned off by the hype), and didn't have everyone talking about it constantly to distract. So. A good movie day. Maybe a bit of overload. I did run a show for kids aged 3-11 between the two....that probably helped.

In other news, I'll be back in the city on July 29th. I still don't have a place to live. Had been totally freaking out, but a Dell Arte alum came up to see the show last night, and offered me his couch if I don't find a place before my triumphant return after about 3 minutes of talking. This is what they mean when they refer to La Famiglia.

Things I need to do:
-call Justin.
-call Meg and get her sister's info 'cause...holy crap...Liz is moving to SF! That's ridiculously awesome!
-think about what a bad ass julia mother fucking vega is. oh, and maybe call her, too.
-but, right now, go to fucking bed 'cause this weekend is going to be CRAZY. hopefully i will get pictures to post of Sunday.

Project! And my semi-weekly update.

This is for all my friendies that knit or crochet. I've just embarked on a long term knitting project, and I'm begging for help. I want to make a "quilt" out of knit squares. So, if you have a bit of leftover yarn, or want to try out a new pattern, or just feel like you want to mail me a square....do it up. I'm asking for 4inch and 8inch squares, and eventually I'll assemble it into some sort of crazy, multi-colored and textured blanket full of love. I'll try to post pictures as people send me/I make squares. Anyway, if you are so inclined to bang one or two out, my address for the next 2 weeks is:
P.O. Box 323
Blue Lake, CA 95525
After July 29th, I have no idea where I'll be living (YIKES!!! Craigslist, don't fail me now!).

In other news, I don't want to move to Blue Lake permanently....yet. It's the kind of place that if I come up here, I'll stay forever. I'm not ready to leave San Francisco OR settle anywhere at this point. I still have a lot of discovering and working and traveling to do. Also, a certain boss o' mine makes me absolutely crazy, and I couldn't work with him full time.

And. I've been having the most amazing, happy, peaceful week. Day on the river, time at friend Greg's up Fickle Hill (think very few people, and redwoods in the backyard), 2 potlucks this week, movie night in the Carlo (hosted by me!), game night, boozy nights at the logger, a day entirely off and I got to go see a show at Dell Arte without working (hooray my intern), baking, knitting, and care package making. So. In short, life is good.


Also. some disease wiped out meal worms recently. No more for 6 weeks. I have to drive to Eureka probably once a week to buy crickets until meal worms are around again. And, the chirping is already driving me crazy.

cabaret, closing of Korbel, and a visit to SF

I had a busy busy weekend. Somehow I managed to run the final weekend of Korbel IV, load in and run the cabaret (directly following Korbel Saturday night), see the Mime Troupe in SF on the 4th, get really drunk at work/the Logger and make a little bit of a fool of myself, strike the cabaret, take a walk around Blue Lake with a lovely tour guide, spend another much less drunken and more chill late night at the Logger, watch fireworks, and a several other neat things.

Life is good, friends. I'm feeling a little under the weather today. What I thought was hangover on Sunday (oh, saturday was so drunk for so many people) has shown itself to be some sort of stomach bug this morning.

I had a fantastic whirlwind 22 (or so) hours in San Francisco. Went to the Mime Troupe's opening day in Dolores Park. The show is really great this year, I think. Had a beer with Liza-Delicious while the Troupers were packing up. I had forgotten how much I adore her, and how good her advice and insight always are. Then had an enjoyable evening at the Troupe, had a burrito, hung out with Victor and Leah's wee new baby, watched some fireworks from the roof, and generally remembered that I do like San Francisco and have some good friendies there.

Saturday night I went to the Logger after the cabaret (as did all other Dell Arte peeps), already pretty saucy (as were all the other Dell Arte peeps). I was sitting at the bar, having shed my shoes, with my phone, wallet, and keys sitting on the bar in plain sight. Got a phone call from Lezley, the house manager, that I needed to come back to the theater for a minute. I got up from my spot, walked across the street to the theater (still with the bare feet), fixed what needed fixing, walked back across the street. Spent some time outside the bar with Greg (my lovely sound engineer), and then returned to my spot at the bar. Phone, keys, wallet and half full beer still sitting on the bar awaiting my return. I very drunkenly drifted from group to group around the bar, meeting the few strangers (workshop students), partially undressing someone I just met, and generally enjoying the small town high-jinks. See, the thing I can't get over is that I didn't even think twice about leaving my wallet, phone and keys sitting on the bar in plain sight unattended, or about walking across the street back to the theater without putting my shoes on.

Now we have the conundrum. I've been thinking in vague terms for about a month that I would like to move up here, if I could get a job at Dell Arte (the only way I could afford to live up here and still do theater). Last night it was presented to me as an actual possibility. If I hadn't have visited San Francisco on Friday, I would probably be marching right up to Michael today and talking about a full time position. But, I had a great day, and I love the work I'm doing in the city, and I do have fantastic friends. I'm torn. I do love it up here, but Dell Arte has some serious problems, and I am not being taken at all seriously as the technical director. However, this little town feels more like home than I've felt in quite some time. Anyway. Thinking time. Comments/suggestions/further discussion welcome, in fact, needed.

what a week.

As of this moment, I have worked 73 hours so far this week (starting Saturday). It's had it's ups and downs, it's twists and curves. I cried twice (just for a minute....then I got over it). But, over all, it's weeks like these that make me realized that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. There is no other profession for which I would be cheerful when arriving at work for the 17th day in a row, after working 70 hours so far this week, after the frustration of inept co-workers. But. I was gloriously happy as I sat outside under the "tech tent" and went through a particularly complex bit of light cues (not that we could see them...as it's very daylight and the show is outdoors). Only in the performing arts are co-workers willing to stay at work until 1:30 (or later) in the morning to help fix your mistakes/problems, and be upbeat about it. And only in Blue Lake would one of those kind helpers pop across the street for a drink and then come back when we needed another body to test an effect.

So. We opened the festival to a sold out crowd last Saturday. Everyone that wasn't working thought it went amazingly well, while we were all kind of pulling our hair out. Tim Robbins gave a speech that gave me goosebumps, about all the things I believe about theater and the world (and he sure put in a nice, heart-felt Obama plug). Then all the P.O.H. guests headed outside to the amphitheater for some booty-shakin' to the Joyce Hough Band. Tim Robbins, at this point a few drinks, etc (this IS humboldt) in, gets onstage and sings 2 songs with Joyce. To cap of my 15 hour straight day of work, I headed to the Logger (really small town, remember), and joined Tim Robbins, members of the Actor's Gang, and some Dell Arte staff and friends. I worked crazy hard, things went not at all as planned, but all the tech worked, the lights looked good in 3 spaces, the band sounded good, the live video stream worked, and no one noticed that I even existed. That, my friends, is success for a technical director.

And now, we open Dell Arte's big show of the summer this evening. It's a parody of local politics, current events and the ways of our kooky little life up here in NorHum. It's the kind of theater I love, a fun, hilarious musical comedy about relevant social topics. Done well. And I get the pleasure of sitting at the back of the amphitheater and running lights (that I also designed) while sitting next to an excellent sound engineer each night.

So, life is good overall, if a little bumpy. Working hard. Not doing much else. An Arizona friend stopped in for a few days this weekend to visit, which was nice. I'll be in SF for the 4th. And back in the bay area for reals on the 29th.

ARGH!!!!!

So, the Mad River Festival opens tomorrow evening with the Prize of Hope. The POH, as it's affectionately and jokingly called around here, is an award started by the Danish Institute of Popular Theater, which Dell Arte won (the first American recipient) a few years ago. This year, we are presenting it. To Tim Robbins and the Actor's Gang. We're having a dinner, a video screening/talk with the Actor's Gang, the presentation of the award itself, and then a local band playing. We have 4 different venues: the street outside Dell Arte (closed), the ballet studio across the street, the Carlo (our indoor theater), and the amphitheater (aka, our backyard, but with a stage....and lights...and a sound system). Oh, and the Mad River Grange, where catering is set up and such. Here's the thing, this event has been planned for months. Dinner in the street, video screening/talk with the Actor's Gang in the Carlo, awarding the prize and the band in the amphitheater. Then, on Tuesday, everything went to crap. They started second guessing themselves, and not consulting me about this, or the production manager. So, the venues have changed probably about 3 times a day (at least) for the last few days. Now, the event is tomorrow. I have a VERY limited amount of lights and dimmers (40 or so). Half of which have been put in the amphitheater, half in the Carlo. And, Michael's (the artistic director) last words of wisdom are: we just need to be prepared for everything, in case of weather. Excellent. ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I don't have enough time, or equipment to be ready for everything.

Alright. It's going to be fine. I just needed to yell a little bit. I have to go work now.

you know, stuff

Chris is married. It was joyful. I cried (no surprise there). I laughed a lot. I was very well behaved, as were all the AZ groomsmen (and one portland jew) in the face of all that Baptistness. It was fantastic to see the Marley clan, a family I call my own, as well as all of the boys. Marcus commented, as we were sitting in the airport on the way out, that he has no other group of friends that he can be away from for any amount of time, and fall right back into place without any awkwardness. I feel the same way. Those boys take care of me like no one else, I know that if I needed them, they would come up to Northern California at a moments notice. I miss them. And my lovely Marcus. Spending a glorious long weekend with them was just what I needed.

And here I am, black in Blue Lake, working hard. Next day off: July 4. Most recent day off: June 9 (during which I flew from South Carolina to Portland, and drove from Portland to Blue Lake....23 hours of travel). We open the festival with the Prize Of Hope on Saturday. I have to have sound in 3 different venues, and lighting in 2. Difficult with only 35 or so lights and 42 dimmers. It's a good time. I've basically been working lots on creating lighting positions in the amphitheater, and moving around dimmers so we have control outside and in the theater, and cleaning, buying things (gaff tape, lamps, fog machine, rosco slit drapes), making sandbags, and sorting about 15 years of gel. Very exciting. My assistant td is fantastic, and works really hard, and is basically awesome. I also live with him, which is ok. He's 19, and just finished his first year of college, and lives like that. I close doors, turn off lights, wash my dishes, and cook actual food. He leaves cabinets open, the light in his room on, his dishes on the stove/counter, and scrambles eggs and microwaves burritos. It's alright, just a little different than I've grown accustomed to lately. The set is almost done, needs to be painted. We had our first sound tech for Korbel last Sunday, and it went very smoothly. The first summer workshops started, and Dell Arte has been inundated with students, including on that goes to ASU. I know him a very little. It's nice, and a little strange, to see an AZ face around here.

Had a very nice birthday celebration for Tyler at Jackie and David's on Sunday (after working all freaking day). BBQ outside, potluck style (i made egg salad). Danish Apple Cake, and a key lime pie (T's favorites). Beer. Margaritas. Other beverages. A birthday Blue Lake style. I knew almost everyone there, about 40 people. Lots of kiddies running around. Once it was down to about 10, we had a sort-of game night. We played Werewolf, which is basically the same as Mafia. I rocked it. It was totally different with a group of people that don't usually play games together (regular game night is 5 of us, only 4 were at this event), much less play Mafia frequently. Good times were had by all. There is much less strategy involved with this group of newbies, and games go much more quickly.

I've begun to fall in love with this small town life I am creating, and will be sad to leave at the end of July. It's a totally different way of life, and I kind of love it.

Correction

Between Two Winters, by the second year master's students at Dell Arte is in June, not July. Same days, though. Watched rehearsal for a bit tonight, and you should go see it. It was fascinating to watch they way they worked together, created work, and were directed. Ensemble creation and performance. Love it. Anyway, the correct dates are: June 13-15 at the Magic.

I leave tomorrow morning on my epic journey. I'll be in Portland tomorrow night (after 7 hours of driving), and then I get on a plane at 6am on Friday to South Carolina. I'll be back on the west coast last Sunday night, and back in Blue Lake late Monday night. And Chris'll be married. Like whoa.

an update with lots of lists

The reason that Blue Lake no longer has a police force, and also why the lack thereof is a daily joke: the ex-police chief.

In other news, I am a flurry of care package sending. If you desire a care package of odd things that I think are funny, which may or may not be actually funny, let me know. If you would like to reciprocate, here is a list of things I love/want/would make me joyful:
-post-its in a variety of colors/sizes
-recipes (specifically tasty vegetarian food and especially new things to bake)
-pictures/postcards to put up in my little room
-yarn for knitting
-books

This week has brought:
-my assistant technical director (he's fantastic)
-a trip to Eureka in the red van. a death defying act. the van may be older than i am.
-almost getting decapitated in said van by picking up Ferney's gurney rolling around in the back.
-sword fighting. this week in my collection of bruises I add: a welt on my arm in which you can see the bamboo strips of the sword. a giant and swollen bruise on the back of my left thigh. and the pain in my left hand, the impact of the hit made my entire hand go numb.
-badminton. with a myriad of new rules including spinning after you hit the birdie, releasing your racket after you hit the birdie (this ended with a racket going over the fence into the creek...so predictable), and more of the like.
-first big pieces of the Korbel set nearing completion
-rain!
and some other things.

things upcoming this week:
-long trek to South Carolina via Portland for Chris Marley's wedding
-cleaning out the scene shop
-filling up sand bags
-watching a rehearsal of the M2's tragedy project: Between Two Winters (coming to the Magic in SF July 13-15, go see it)
yeah...that's pretty much it. excited to see Marcus, Chris and all that group of people. and a state that I've never been to before.

game night, blue lake style

Last night was weekly pot luck game night. Yep, in Blue Lake, we all have dinner together first. Made easier by the fact that there are only 5 regulars, and that 3 of us work together and the other two work from home (one mask maker, one cartographer...for reals, yo). Anyway, we potluck it up (I made a chocolate chip cookie/brownie tasty treat, and some damn good garlic bread), then clean up our dishes and commence games. Unlike the SF version of game night, we play several different games each night, and vary it every week (except we always end with the card game that must not be named). Anyway, it's all very peppy and sarcastic and tipsy and fun. Last night, however, was a true Blue Lake evening.
1) Heard about the town crazies. One family, several generations. The Humsingers. The dad drives around the block ("downtown blue lake") very fast and yells at people and is generally paranoid and scary. The kids bike around town, but the rest is the same. They all live in the old machine shop next to the glass blowers (which is across from the Blue Lake Museum(no, i haven't been yet, plan to on Tuesday, which is the next day they are open)). Several generations, all together, with one door and not really any windows. No one knows if the machine shop in which they live is still in operation, but it very well might be. Anyway. I heard one of the many totally insane stories about them last night. The dad went into Stardough's (the local...only...cafe) carrying a hatchet. Muttering to himself, and sort of to Dana (guy who works there...maybe the owner? dunno. anyway, he's super nice and very calm). Dana walked him out of the store gently, and the dad says something to Dana. Then, he puts his arm down on a car, and chops his hand off with the hatchet. For serious, people. This happened in January.
2) Kate described in great detail seeing a guy stop over on the other side of the Logger (the bar) with his pack mules. Apparently a very bearded, scruffy man had parked 3 donkey's that were loaded with bags down the street. He also had a dog. This started a discussion of other town regulars with strange habits, such as the guy that has a dolly. And wheels it around to work with him. I guess there's a box on it, and it has a little pin wheel.
3) We were all playing our little games (Balderdash at this point), and I'm looking out the window at the very grey dusk toward Stardough's (remember, really small town), and I say: "Is that a sheep?" Erica turns around to look, and sure enough, it's a sheep. A woman was walking a sheep. On a leash. While she talked on her cell phone. The sheep was very well behaved, acting just like a well trained dog out for a walk. Through downtown Blue Lake. After a pause in front of Stardough's, she walked off down the street towards the Museum and out of sight. And Tyler said: "Only in Blue Lake."

Welcome to small town life.

by small town, i actually mean

-no bank. of any sort.
-no grocery store.
-no mail carrier. everyone has a p.o. box, and has to go to the post office to pick up/drop off mail. not like it's out of your way.
-no police force. worst crime i've heard about: people siphoning gas from Dell Arte's vans.
-oh, but don't worry, there is a fire station. you can hear the alarms from anywhere in town. it occasionally wakes me up early in the morning.
-people "drive into town" for groceries, new clothes, to deposit a paycheck. the "town" being Arcata (population, about 17,000). and yes, people will actually say: I'm driving into town, does anyone need anything?
-my walk to work through "downtown Blue Lake" is approximately the distance from the Mime Troupe to....mmmm....the corner store at 22nd and Folsom.
-you can get ice from the bar if you run out, and Brenda (the bartender) is probably playing playstation, and you know everyone in the bar and stop to talk for a bit, maybe invite them over for the dinner you're about to eat.
-friday night, i was having dinner at a friends, and my sound tech for our big summer show was walking by on the street. he came in and had some ribs and explained that he was supposed to help someone move. of course, the people i was eating with knew who was moving, and the reason. later, someone else stopped in on her way to the bar, and said she was watching the kids of the person that was supposed to be moving later that night.


this "town" literally consists of:
-2 gas stations
-fire station (very small)
-post office
-the logger (a bar)
-a cafe (good burgers, as i remember, not so good veggie burgers)
-Mad River Grange (kind of a community space...sometimes there are yoga classes, we're having our big Festival kick off/prize of hope dinner there, they have a 3rd sunday breakfast, city council meetings, etc.)
-Blue Lake Museum (open I think 3 half days a week...I really want to go)
-Mad River Brewing Company (this is outside of Blue Lake...down by the river)
-Dell Arte

Latest population estimates: 1,110. Wait wait, as of Friday, 1,113. Size of the town: .6 square miles.

check out the wikipedia page: Blue Lake, CA

one year.

Today. Today, I sit in my little room with the window wide open to the cool air that a grey, foggy day in northern california sends a blowin'. It seeps into my room slowly, caressing my two lovely potted plants, winding around puppy driving him closer to his heater, slinking over my giant pile of dirty laundry, nodding a slow hello to the pile of books on my desk, finally greeting me with a cool kiss on the cheek. It finds me in the far corner, nestled under my quilt, eating a chocolate chip cookie, and thinking about the last year. One year ago today I arrived with very little fanfare to a brand new big city. Fresh out of the Arizona heat, I plummeted into the windy, cloudy, cold weather that is a San Francisco summer. I was wide-eyed, ready for adventure, and looking to change the world. I'd like to think that I still am. What a year it has been, friends. A year of shattered ideals, changing course, and loneliness. A year of rediscovering faith, finding passion, and amazing new people. I can't believe it's been an entire year. I feel like I am living in an entirely different lifetime than when I drove down Williams Street one Saturday morning in May, away from the Fortress and my life as I knew it. I have no regrets about leaving Phoenix, and the quite content life I had built there. And, I've done some amazing things since moving on. I forget, sometimes, that I'm doing amazing things here. They get lost in my awe at the crazy, world changing, insane adventuring things my friends are up to all around the world. So, I feel the need to cap off this year by listing some of the things that have been especially fantastic to me:
-worked for a company I've worshipped for quite some time. learned how it works, and how it doesn't work. seen a crowd of 5,000+ people cheer and applaud a show that I worked on. stayed with people of all walks of life all over northern california.
-worked for multiple companies i learned about in college, mainly those known for doing interesting, socially relevant work, and pushing the boundaries of art.
-3 tours.
-stage managed and lighting directed a show that was reviewed in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the San Francisco Chronicle, and played to sold out houses in Washington, D.C., New York, and San Francisco.
-have not had any jobs or any form of income other than theater/dance.
-dreamed instead of having nightmares every night.
-taught kids in elementary and middle school.
-learned to drive my stick shift car up and down the SF hills like a pro
-walked to work more frequently than driving.
-learned to cook a fantastic cous cous
-made the leap to eating vegetarian
-discovered my favorite places in SF for long talks, swinging, beaching, eating, bowling, book shopping...
-loved my AZ friends more than ever
-joined a company that I love, working for them year-round, having input into what's next (both short and long term), and how it should run
-been asked to take a full time year round position.
-turned it down in favor of freelancing.
-learned on the go to production manage (and am good at it)
-sat in diners, in parks, on loading docks, in the mime troupe kitchen and had amazing, life changing, totally mundane, argumentative, loving, joyful, tearful, introspective, trash talking, totally defeated, completely empowered conversations with incredible people.
and, most importantly
-been really truly happy with the person I've become for the first time in my life. even when i feel totally alone and totally defeated, i am not ashamed at how i got there, or of being there.

As I said to one of my housemates last night, it's been an amazing year. I got to SF thinking I want to be a lighting designer for political theater. A year later, I want to stage manage socially relevant modern dance. My entire worldview has changed. In a good way. What a wonderful life I'm leading.

awesomeness abounds

"In its 4-3 ruling, the Republican-dominated high court struck down state laws against same-sex marriage and said domestic partnerships that provide many of the rights and benefits of matrimony are not enough."
"It's about human dignity. It's about human rights. It's about time in California," San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, pumping his fist in the air, told a roaring crowd at City Hall. "As California goes, so goes the rest of the nation. It's inevitable. This door's wide open now. It's going to happen, whether you like it or not."

Hooray!

In other news, it's really ridiculously hot in northern california. Upper 80s to low 90s. For all you Arizonans saying, yeah, that's nothing, this is an area that is used to the 50s. Even in the summer. No air conditioning. No swamp coolers (not that they would work...hooray humidity). People are flocking to the river and beach like mad. Coupled with the internet not working at Dell Arte, the mood in the office has been...well...scattered at best. And with that, it's time for dinner/game night. Be in SF tomorrow evening!

plants and bruises and a heat wave

I'm sitting at the little desk in my little room, enjoying watching puppy crawl around his little tank checkin' out the world. It's the first day he's come out of his hide-y hole, and taken a look around. He's feeling like home, for now. And then, I realized. It's the first day I've felt comfortable, too. Me and puppy, we're together in this moving around a lot new people new places thing. The internet was down at work today, so no work really got done. Mostly we just hung out, made ridiculous plans, talked a little about working (tomorrow) and more about life. I moved some furniture with one person. Made plans for swordfighting later with another, and then walked home with another person. Talked about my desire to have a home base and buy a plant. She offered to lend me a potted plant for the summer, to love and to green my wee little room. So, I dropped off my stuff in my kitchen, and walked on over to her apartment and temporarily adopted two little potted plants. I did a little work at home, 'cause I didn't really do any at work, and then I headed out. Can I just say how much I love leaving the house carrying nothing but a Nalgene? Well, it's a lot. Small towns are super. I went over to Tyler's house (some of you may know him as the super goofy guy in Grasshopper, that played the drunk guy), hung out with him and Kate (his girlfriend) a little, and then Tyler and I grabbed swords and headed for the amphitheater. Bamboo swords, friends. The rules: if you get hit in the arm/hand, it's dead. Same goes for legs. If both your legs get hit, then you have to kneel on the ground. Both hands, you're out. Torso, you're out. Head or crotch, the person that hit you is out. And begin. It was the first meeting of the Blue Lake Sword Fighting Club. Some of the PTP's and the M1's (first year dell arte students) came along and joined for awhile. I didn't totally suck. I won a few times. And, I have some amazing bruises (which are probably going to hurt tomorrow).

Oh, and did I mention it was 75 degrees today? That's hot for this neck of the woods. And that's when I really realized that I am an Arizonan no longer. I walked out of the house today, and thought....geez....it's hot today. Yep. Awesome.

In other news, as you probably know, John Edwards officially endorsed Barack Obama this evening. Just in time to grab the nightly news headlines away from Hillary winning West Virginia. We all knew that it was coming, it just came a little sooner than I thought it would. Also, Elizabeth totally voted for Hillary and will be keeping more in the background. Except to goad Obama about his health care plan (which needs goading). I feel a little bit like my support for Obama after my love (john e.) dropped out is validated.

Also. I'll be in SF Friday night. Let's wander around the city.

it's not raining mccain anymore

Here are two columns from the huffington post. They kind of sum up my feelings about John McCain.

Shakespearean Tragedy
Hero Worship Dies Hard

"This isn't Mitt Romney we're talking about, folks -- a man for whom pandering and flip flopping fit like a perfectly tailored suit. This is John McCain, a man whose personal history, in the words of Newsweek in 2000, "makes the other presidential candidates look like pygmies" -- and who, at one time, before he held a fire sale on his principles (Everything Must Go!), was ennobled by that history and had the chance to become that rarest of things -- a real leader."

Once, when I was 16, I met John McCain. I was on a trip to Washington, D.C., with Close-Up. It was our day on the hill, where you get to meet with your local representatives. This was right in the middle of debating the McCain-Feingold CFR bill in the senate, so, as usual, we met with a spokesman for McCain. Also, Jim Kolbe (I didn't like him very much, but he was on the saner side of the republican party, also openly gay). Then, we had a few hours of free time to explore. Meghan McConaughey and I were hanging out in the senate office building (yeah, that's what kind of high school kid I was...we also once tracked down our AP american history teacher the year after that class because we couldn't remember the significance of the Charles River Bridge case when it came up in conversation during lunch), and here he comes, along with his entourage. We stare, totally starstruck, as he talks to another senator outside his office. One of his aide's notices our gaze of adulation, and points him our way. We talked to him for about 2 minutes, about Arizona, his daughter, and dogs (as I remember). Then he had to go work a little. Meghan and I ran outside, and, once out of sight, giddily jumped up and down and squealed on the steps of the Russell Office Building, like we were 12 and had just met some famous boy band. I'm from Arizona. I've voted for John McCain. More than once. Back when I wanted to be a speech writer/run for president/anything in the realm of elected politics, John McCain was my hero. So, these essays resonate with me. I am heartbroken at what he's become. And, in the democratic bickering, whenever someone says that they would rather vote for McCain that Obama or Clinton, I am amazed. People really feel that strongly about their democratic candidate? That they would wish four more years of the exact same on this country before Obama/Clinton? I wish people would stop saying that, because they don't mean it. It's just for effect. And, that is what is dividing the party. Not this long, dragged out primary. In fact, I think that this is exactly what primaries should be. Every state counts, the candidates have to campaign in every state, we, as a party, have longer to get to know each candidate. Also, there is a lot of talk of what McCain will sling at either Obama or Clinton once the primary is over, and which will bear it better. And that this is giving the democratic party less time to run against McCain. Well, I see more time with the democrats controlling the story. The headlines are dominated every day by what Hillary or Barack say, by their platforms, by these primary votes. They can't go very negative against each other, and the Republicans can't start their full fledged attack yet. How long has it been since we've heard really anything about McCain? I see only good things, here. A party really talking about which candidate would be the better nominee, less negativity, more votes actually counting. Hooray primaries! They're great. Also, as an Obama supporter, you better bet your boots I'll vote for Hillary in November if it comes down to it. Not even a second thought. And, I don't want her to drop out before I know that she's actually lost. I don't think she's lost yet. In fact, I am gaining, and not losing, respect for her. Hooray democracy! Hooray long primaries! Now, can we stop talking about lapel pins and what church people go to and whether or not they have feelings and when they can shed tears and when they can't? I want to hear more about health insurance, gas prices, Iran, fixing Israel and Palestine, education...you know...things that matter.

Sorry for the unfocused political nature of this. I've been moving and working and not sleeping enough and thinking too much.

move, completed

I made it to the tiny town of Blue Lake, CA. I pulled up to Dell Arte (without looking up the address or at a map....booya sense of direction and memory from being here 6 months ago) at 2:07pm. By 2:08, I was discussing what Dell Arte needed to buy (expendables....gels, lamps, etc.) for the summer with the production manager. At 2:13, I was meeting with the director of the show I'm lighting this week (opens Friday). At 4pm, I was unpacking my car, and settling into my tiny room. And now, for a nap. More on the past crazy week later, after I've caught up on sleep and lit a show in 2 days by myself. I already miss SF and friendlies like crazy.

like whoa

my friends are fullbrighting (2!), touring with the eagles, touring with the warped tour, going back to school, graduating college, beating cancer, raising children, moving out of the fortress, moving to new cities, quitting jobs they hate, starting jobs they love, applying for jobs so they can quit the one that's boring, getting divorced, getting married, choosing an entirely new career, writing songs, writing books, inventing math theories, starting life all over again. what an amazing group of people i know. i forget sometimes that every second i get to talk to a friend on the phone, or online, every email i get, care package that shows up on my doorstep, hug, drink after work, dinner, afternoon at the park, people are making time to be my friend. i forget sometimes what crazy and fantastic and exciting and busy lives the people I know lead. how great is it to be the age we are and living life the way we do? i am picking up my still brand new San Francisco life and moving 1 box, 2 duffle bags, 1 laptop case, and my work back pack up to Blue Lake in 5 days and 1 hour and about 35 minutes. I'll only be gone for three months, but with my life here still in it's beginning stages, that seems like forever. I'm just getting enough work to fill every week, I'm just starting to make those kind of friends that you stay up all night talking with and are surprised when it starts to get light, I'm just learning my way around the city. And now, just when I might be beginning to feel comfortable here, I am off. Part of me loves my pick it up and go lifestyle, the temporary, always ready for a crazy adventure feeling. But, part of me craves stability. I want some place to call home. It's been almost a year since I've had that. The closest thing I have to a home place is the family Taylor's. I want to sleep in my bed. I want to be surrounded by my bookcases and the art my grandmother and my friends did and I want my own cookie sheets. This part of me is getting bigger and stronger. October, friends. October 1st, I will sign a year lease and unpack my sheets and my books and buy a plant and settle Puppy in somewhere that he'll get to stay awhile. And maybe this city will feel finally really really feel like home, instead of a transition. I love the way I am living my life, but I think it might be time for a little settling down. That doesn't mean I don't want to tour or spend the summer in tiny little towns doing what I love or stop being completely focused on myself for the first time in my life. It just means that I want someplace to call home. I forget how amazing and invaluable that is. I miss having a place in the world that I am completely comfortable. So, October, will you come quickly please?

current temperatures

San Francisco: 57
Blue Lake: 43
Tempe: 82
Tucson: 43

That's right people, tempe is 82, tucson is 43. That's crazy. Also, amazing perfect weather in SF today. And I had the amazing, perfect day to go along. Also, I move to Blue Lake next Monday, so lets hang out before then. I may be a little drunk and extremely tired and therefore not really making sense.

a rant among rants

Today was a day of pent up rants for me. It started around midnight (the turn of Tuesday to Wednesday) while I was watching the primary election coverage. An analyst had some very derogatory comments about the "youth vote," and that he thinks we'll all be playing in some huge playstation tournament in someone's dorm room on election day, and we won't be able to tear ourselves away to vote. Thusly, Barak Obama will lose, because he only has the youth vote, and we don't actually count. Anyway, you can imagine how I reacted to that. There was yelling involved. Today, I teched a show at Artaud. It's getting a lot of hype, and it's two pretty well known dance companies in SF. The first company to tech hired an almost competent stage manager. By that, I mean, she knew when the music cues should go, but I knew some of the lighting cues better than she did by the end of our one run. Oh, and I'm running sound. She's alright. Then, dinner break. We come back, and discover a gigantic mess. We have video, we have fly cues, we have lots of light cues, we have sound cues. We have no stage manager. All of the ops are seeing the show for the first time. And the choreographer's answer to us asking when certain cues should go is: you'll feel it. So, long rant somewhat shorter: spend the money to hire a stage manager! I actually charge less to SM than I make board op'ing for ODC (hourly vs. salary being the main cause). Your show will run much more smoothly, and all the house techs will like you. It's totally worth it. Then, I come home, and I can't find a freaking parking spot because it's late on Wednesday night. There is street cleaning on one side of the street in my neighborhood at 9am on Thursdays. I had to park on the Thursday side of the street, meaning I have to get up early tomorrow and look for a parking spot. Sucks. So, my actual rant. Health insurance. I finally gave in today, after talking with my housemate (she works in an ER) about health insurance and such last night. I looked at medical. I forget how very very little money I make, because I'm so careful about how I spend it. So, I think to myself, I'm living pretty far below the poverty line, I probably qualify. Oh no, my friends. To get medical, you must make less than $870 a month (for an individual). My question is this: living in San Francisco, who can afford health insurance if they make $900 a month. I make more than that, and I have no chronic medical problems, am in pretty good health, I'm 24, my family history is pretty sweet, and it would cost me about $150 a month for a decent plan through Kaiser. That's how much I spend on food in 3 weeks. To have health insurance, I would have to, basically, eat on $50 a month. Possible, but not very healthy or enjoyable. I choose to eat. I have no health insurance. There is pretty much no way I can afford health insurance. I have amazingly cheap rent (for SF), I eat at home most meals a week, I buy basically nothing other than food, I make hundreds of dollars more than the level you have to be at for medical, and yet am hundreds of dollars (per month) away from being able to afford health insurance. The gap is pretty huge here, between what is covered by the gov't, and the point at which people can afford to buy their own. I have seen no signs that either the Hillary or Obama health plans will change any of that, although Hillary will make it illegal for me to not have health insurance. They both hope to close the gap, both by expanding medicaid, and by making health insurance more affordable. I think that I will still be left in that black hole of a gap, looking forward to waiting in line at the free clinic for something small, or racking up a huge debt for something big. It's something I think about everyday. Not just when I'm balancing on top of an extension ladder, or climbing across truss to get to that hard to reach light, but when I walk across the street, or get in my car, or burn myself on the oven. I want health insurance. A mandate a la Hillary Clinton is not what's going to get it for me. Instead, that's going to take away fresh veggies and replace them with meals of rice so I can afford health insurance. Or, I'll just be breaking the law. What are they going to do when I need care and have no health insurance? Fine me? Put me in jail? Or just deny me entrance to the doctor's office? Cause that's no change at all. Let's see a health insurance plan that actually works. That will actually get people into doctors offices and out of emergency rooms. That closes the gap in coverage between people making $871 a month, and people making $2000 a month. That makes the decision of food and rent or health insurance unnecessary. I have much more ranting to do about this, but I have to move my car early. Next up: back when I was fully insured, the struggle to actually see a doctor, or: a day I cried and yelled a lot.

saturday weather forcast

San Francisco: sunny, high of 67, low of 48
Tempe: sunny, high of 97, low of 62

This is why I am a total wuss about the cold.

home?

I'm back in SF. It might be home, but I'm not sure yet, the topic of several conversations with various people in the last week. Anyway, things I did in AZ
-saw an amazing amazing play. no, really, probably the second best play I've seen in the last year. and i went to NY in that time.
-went to Colin's first birthday party. he not only remembered me, but when he heard his mother say my name as i walked in, he turned around, and then WALKED towards me. Last time I saw that kid, he was barely crawling. It was joyous.
-Spent from 2pm-2am at a bar. Well, two bars. I was at Papago when the opened, had some lunch (and a small bit of beer), took the bus to Four Peaks, and stayed until closing. I saw a friend I hadn't seen in two years, I planned a trip to visit someone at Cal Arts (she starts grad school in August), I found out that I am in a friend's will, I had a very drunken argument about practicing what you preach and living sustainably, and I may have drank more than a few pints.
-I went to Haji Baba and had yummy yummy food. And, for the first time since I moved away, my same old server didn't remember my name.
-I went sailing for the first time! It was great! I got a little sunburn.
-I sat next to the owner of Baggins on the Phoenix-Tucson shuttle.
-I brushed my dogs and took them for walks.
-I stayed up until 3am reading.
-I got a spa treatment (courtesy of my fantastic mother), it was fancy and strange. They wrapped me up in plastic like a mummy for part of it.
-I bought books at a used bookstore.
-I bought bread and daffodils, both of which I brought back to SF on the plane.
-I burned the crap out of a part of my hand. It looks pretty disgusting, and is going to leave a rockin' scar with a stupid story.
-I knit a hat (well, a lot of it on the plane home).

And now I am back in the land of wind and cold and work. But, no nightmares here.

i find that...

the Arizona heat, and inevitable sunburn, are comforting. I know that when I step off that plane, I will be enveloped in the hot, thick, still air. It caresses me like a hug, one of the really good ones. I walk into the sunshine, and feel it warm my body all the way through. My skin warms up, and I can feel the sunburn begin. It's not bad, this time. In fact, my skin is barely pink. But, do the little finger-push thing, and it turns white as the night-time moon reflecting in everyone's backyard pools. Here, I drink water by the gallon, watch the heat shimmer off the asphalt, wear tanktops at night, sit for hours at the outdoor tables at my favorite bar. The summer seasonal is selling well, and it's barely even April. I walk along the sidewalks, getting from place to place, and the blonde people with their big sunglasses drive alongside me with their AC cranked up almost as loud as their bass. They give me that look, that only in AZ you're walking!?! look, and then continue on their way to the mall or the movie theater or Dos Gringos. I plod on, toward the bus stop, enjoying the feeling of the sun slowly burning my skin, and the heat making it's way all the way to my bones.

giggle

My horoscope for Friday, April 11:

It's true that your daily routine can make your life feel like it's on auto-pilot from time to time, but today you might find great comfort in knowing exactly what you are going to be doing and when you are going to be doing it. After all, having no unpredictability in your life does not have to mean that you don't have any excitement! It's all about the attitude you adopt. You'll benefit from a period of stability right now -- it will give you the sturdy foundation you need.

1) right off the bat....i have a daily routine?
2) I know exactly what I'm going to be doing, and when I'm going to be doing it? Man, I need to read my day planner more closely...
3) I have lots of unpredictability in my life...and almost no excitement.
4) Stability. Does that come with health insurance? Where can I get some of that?

in the last week...

-I got a new housemate. His name is Mike, and he's very nice.
-I worked a decent amount at Artaud, getting it all ODC ready. Now my hands won't come clean. I forget about that part of being an electrician when I've been away from the ladders and lights for awhile.
-I returned to the troupe, finally. Saw G & L, on separate occasions, which was fantastically nice.
-I ate some ice cream. I had been craving it for two days, despite the biting wind that I've been walking in at night. It was cold, but so satisfying.
-I lost 10 pounds last month with the kiddies, so my pants don't fit. Today, a very nice co-worker literally gave me her belt. It's a whole new world, climbing a ladder with lights in hand, and not worrying about my pants coming off.
-I have grand surprises in the works. I'm excited.
-I went to Green Apple. I bought the first Fables (finally), and one other non-fiction book. And, my friend gave me Neuromancer. All on the same evening. It's an exciting week.
-I'm moving in a month. Whoa peoples.

What this week has in store:
-working on TNT. and by that, i mean ferrying food and being happy to be around the troupe people again.
-getting ready for the salon at studio gracia. and going to some levydance rehearsals.
-baseball! padres @ giants. tomorrow. 7:15.
-maybe some baking.

Happy Cesar Chavez Day!

No, really, it's Cesar Chavez day. In California, at least. My favorite grocery store is closed today to celebrate (man, I love this city). In other news: The Salon at Studio Gracia is coming up! For all my SF (well, bay area(ed, this means you)) peeps, one of my most favorite companies that I work for, LEVYdance, is hosting a salon style night of performance, wine, snacks, and then a dance party afterwards. It's at our studio, Studio Gracia, on April 12th. There will be two showings of the performances, at 8pm and 10pm, and then some gettin' down on our dance floor with our very own dj. Check out LEVYdance for more info. For all y'all YTP'ers, you can come for the 10pm show, or just for the dance party. The studio is pretty fantastic, and it's gunna be fun!

Also, I bought some gelato today. Like, a little take home container. It's fantastic and tasty. Great for sitting on the couch and feeling all throat hurty and headachy and generally achy and watching family guy.

geh

I'm SO awkward. Why am I so awkward? Geh.

I sit here, splendidly happy, looking out my living room windows. The 101, cars streaking by, the striking skyline of the Financial District, the colored lights of the Embarcadero, the east bay twinkling away across a short expanse of dark blue, and the bay bridge (don't ya know that mother f*er's dang-rous?). This week has been....calm. Marcus's brother and 2 of his roommates came to the city for spring break. I have the remnants of hanging out with them left in m fridge (the better part of a 12 pack of PBR). I went to the field opener (still spring training) of the Giants on Thursday (they lost. it was pretty painful. matt cain had a bad night.), the seagulls are fascinating. I worked a l'il bit. A quite attractive boy (that, from what I know so far, is what I would describe if I was asked to describe my perfect man) asked me on a date. I fed the cats. I watched far too much CSI. I baked some cookies (that Michael and friends ate a lot of). I talked on the phone. I'm possibly hatching a fantastic and devious plan of birthday awesomeness (i hope).

In other words, I'm alive and I do want to hang out soon!

another of my silly boycotts

Grupo Modelo has come down hard on members of a union, and other workers who talk to these people. Here's the article:
250 Bottle Makers Fired For Forming a Union
So, now I say goodbye (for now) to their beer. This really only affects my like for negra modelo. Which I usually only drink when getting a burrito. So, no beer for me the next time I stop in at El Farolito.

In other (personal) news, I locked the San Anselmo Playhouse last night for the last time. Well, until the next show in November. I am very happy to be done with my 70 or so hour work weeks, and dealing with the disaster of a co-worker. I will miss my kiddies, and witty repartee with Jack, Gwen's mothering and bringing of food, and Kim's snarky comments about the show, the director, and (most often) the parents. This week, I am going to clean out my storage unit, clean out my car, and bake. Oh, and work on my portfolio. And. My housemates are out of town, it's just me, the kitties, and the fantastic view. Which is quiet and kind of nice.

a series of short and sweet

-my last week with the kiddies. bittersweet. i'll miss them, but i'll get my voice back. and maybe the impulse to yell "WALK!" at people in public places will subside.
-I'll be in tucson for a few days at the very beginning of May. Come visit.
-I've been thinking about problems lately. And, I think that life is easy and uncomplicated when you take other people out of the equation. I wonder if I can exist without people (outside of work). I get such a fill of collaboration and human interaction in my job, do I need friends at all? A lover? I think an experiment is in order.
-Kids are funny. They have no concept of age past high school. My kids guess how old I am on a daily basis. Their guesses have ranged from 35 to high school. One was super excited when I said I had a roommate, "*gasp* Are you in college?" Liam asked, leaning forward in fascination. I laughed, and informed the 4th grader that people sometimes have roommates after college. Yesterday, my middle schoolers guessed that I was 28, and that Jack, the sound designer, is older than I am. He's 20. On another note, one of the parents last week asked me which kid was mine. These kids are 9 and 10 and 11. Yikes.
-I'm glad my two year cycle has been broken. I miss those people that shattered it more than anything. Sometimes it physically hurts. Like today.
-I'm currently watching "Little Mosque on the Prairie." It's an amazing, canceled, Canadian tv show that is exactly what it sounds like it is.
-I touristed around the south side of the GG Bridge this weekend. It's pretty great. It was nice to remember the amazingness of this city through a tourist's eyes for a bit. A good break from driving over the bridge for work everyday.
-I am thinking about moving to Portland. This thought needs an entire entry in itself. There are lots of reasons to stay. But good reasons to go, as well. I need to start sending my resume around up there and see what happens. I couldn't go until October, though, because I have shows until then.
-My little room has a spectacular, and the sunset wakes me up in it's orange glory every morning. I've been starting every day happy.

movie reviews, thoughts about teaching, and the hardest thing...

Movie reviews:
Went to see Juno last night. Excellent. Quirky. Cute little love story. Spoiler: the end was too much of a happy, easy, perfect, neat little wrap up.
Watched Tsotsi with the new roomies tonight. Very very good. Very intense. A little bit violent. The lead actor is amazing. Oh, it also won best foreign language film at the Oscars in 2006.


Thought about teaching:
It's hard. I love love love it (more than I could possibly have imagined), but I come home totally exhausted at the end of every day. And, most importantly, my kids love me, are having a good time, and are learning lots. It's amazing to see a full length musical run completely by 4th and 5th graders. Today we had the first dress for my second school. A 5th grade girl that has never done tech before in any way called the show. Amazingly well. Spot cues, scene changes, sound cues, light cues, and 3rd-5th grade actors that didn't know their lines. It's pretty fantastic to watch. And, I've always wondered whether or not teachers know if they are good or bad, if the kids like them or not. Now, I can tell you for sure, they know. Mostly the kids like me, and they are learning a lot. Those two don't always go together. I despised my senior english teacher, but it retrospect, it was one of the best classes I've ever taken. Anyway. Teaching is amazing. I love it. I'm good at it. But, I have NEVER been this tired. Except maybe when I had mono and was trying to do stuff. Excuse me, when I had faux-no.

The Hardest Thing:
I have a meeting with my assistant production manager at 1pm tomorrow. I basically have to tell him he totally sucks at his job, and he needs to step it up, and then how to do it. I have never had to do this before. I am not looking forward to it. I don't have these people skills. I am the "nice one," even with my kids, I generally only give positive feedback (except the no running and no food in the playhouse....I am crazy hardcore about that). How do I do this without making Joe hate me? We have to work together for 2 1/2 more weeks, and I really need him to be there and fully committed. At least he doesn't want to come back for the next set of shows in November. I should have talked to him last week, but I just kept putting it off. And, I shouldn't have. Other people have noticed now. The other tech staff person (sound designer, Jack, that's been working for Yes for basically his entire life) has definitely noticed. So, I have to do it. Otherwise, my little 5th grade SM is going to choke. And the scene changes are all going to be called late, and the lights are always going to be called early. So. Way not excited for that. I need to be a little more Karen Runk and suck it up and be a bitch.

In other news:
I moved out of the troupe. Finally. I miss living next to Gilly, though. It's strange and a little bit lonely, but also really really nice at the same time. I have my own room, and a fantastic view of the bay. The people I am subletting from are amazing. The SF version of old cat ladies: they have 4 cats that are ridiculously pampered (baby talk, acupuncture, and a raw meat diet), they're "partners," vegetarian (and yet, feed the cats raw meat), their home is solar powered, and they are total conservation hippies (recycle, local food, compost, etc.). For all that, I do really like them. We shared a movie and pretzels on the couch tonight, and they are fascinated by Puppy. Also, rent is super cheap.

K, off to sleep. I have to work lots tomorrow.

very quick update

Hi. I've been working a lot and sleeping a lot. I'm moving on Saturday. To a two month sublet. Then, I'll go up to Blue Lake for 3 months. Then back to the city, as rehearsals for my next show will have already started. I have final dress for my first show with the kiddies today. Then, 3 shows and going to a run through of the next show tomorrow, 2 shows plus teaching a class for 2 other schools on Saturday, 1 show plus strike/load in plus paper tech for the next show on Sunday. Very exciting. Teaching is amazing, but keeping things moving during tech for a show completely acted and run by 3rd-5th graders is exhausting. I have about 70 kids in my charge. Yikes. OK, off to work.

si, se puede

A post in which I ruminate on that phrase, and the presidential candidate now using it.

Growing up in southern Arizona, I was surrounded by cotton fields, ranches, and other farms that employ large amounts of migrant workers. Nowadays, the controversy is illegal immigration. In the past, it was the exploitation of the migrant worker population. I had friends who still didn't eat grapes, I learned about the United Farm Workers in middle school, along with Teatro Campesino. I was surprised to learn, on moving away from that culture, that most people had no idea Campesino exists. Even in San Francisco (Luis Valdez, the founder, is a former Mime Trouper, and Teatro Campesino's home is close to the city). Anyway, growing up in this culture rich with UFW history, si se puede is an incredibly powerful phrase. Stories of the UFW's strikes and protests (like not eating grapes) were my first exposure to the power of unions, the power that people have when they join together to say that things are not ok, and that we do have the power to change them. I was lucky enough to have teachers in middle school that taught Cesar Chavez along with Martin Luther King, Jr., that emphasized the power of Luis Valdez's performances on the back of trucks in the fields to rally the workers, they inspired in me the power of the people, and the power of the arts. Si se puede, for me, is inseparable from those feelings, that change is possible, that the power does still reside in the people if they choose to wield it. That phrase has the power to give me goosebumps, but only when used well. Otherwise, it makes me angry that it's been taken from this tradition.

Which brings me to Obama. He made a speech. Meg made me listen to it. It gave me goosebumps, and made me tear up a little. Clinton has been criticizing Obama from using words, and not actions, recently. Well, she hasn't been using either. It's a campaign, a campaign in which the two primary candidates platforms are startlingly similar, what else is there but words? In a campaign, what else has their ever been but words? And his words bring back that empowerment that the phrase si se puede gave to so many during the UFW era, and to those that know that history, live in that culture. I feel like Obama is reminding us, the people that care, that we still do have the power to change things, that change is actually still possible. He is attempting to repair the damage of the Bush regime, and he hasn't even won an election yet. Policies, wars, tax cuts, aside, the biggest thing Bush has done is make us feel powerless, that we can't stand up to the government we disagree with, that we can't make any change on our own. Obama's rhetoric is beginning to mend that. And that is more powerful, more important than the difference between his and Hillary's health care plans. As Michael Sullivan reminded Mime Troupe audiences this summer in very few words, Obama tells the world: the politicians work for us. We are their bosses. Let's fire the ones we don't like.

And so, I join Obama-rama. Porque, si, se puede.



oh, here's the speech. i stole it from meg's blog. also, thanks megling.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics…

they will only grow louder and more dissonant ………..

We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA;

we will remember that there is something happening in America;

that we are not as divided as our politics suggests;

that we are one people;

we are one nation;

and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast;

from sea to shining sea –

Yes. We. Can.

143 million reasons to be a vegetarian

So. There was a massive beef recall yesterday. I have a lot of thoughts about this, as you may guess. Here are two:
1) a for effort, fed gov't, for recalling all this beef.
2) i read an article about the conditions at this slaughter house, and watched the video, about two weeks ago. it took them that long to do the recall. most of the beef has already been eaten, a lot of it went to school lunches. and, i wasn't looking very hard for news about animal cruelty (and, you know, the symptoms of these animals are along the lines of mad cow...which is why they aren't allowed to be slaughtered for consumption). it was in my headlines on guerilla news network. Anyway. It took the government about 2 weeks to react in a way . At least. It's also apparent that this is nothing new at this meat plant, and it can be assumed that the Chino plant is indicative of the rest of the industry.

So, 143 million pounds worth of loving being a vegetarian. Also, I made a very very tasty cream of potato cheese soup today. And, you can stop telling me that animals are regulated very carefully in the U.S., and that animal care practices that create mad cow don't happen here. Have a nice day. Eat your veggies.

this is genius

I think I have found a solution to my financial woes: cuddle parties.
Seriously, one of the most creative solutions to being a few dollars short.

In other news. I was offered a job stage managing Rough and Tumble's Candide that opens August 30th. And, I have a phone conversation on Tuesday to discuss the terms of my contract to td the Mad River Festival this summer. And, I'll be home tomorrow. 5:30ish. =)

p.s. I could never actually invite people I didn't know to my living space to cuddle. It's a nice idea, though.

why i am the way i am

Two nights ago, I crashed on the couch at the fortress. First, I sat down all cuddled up with Jakers to watch a movie. Unfortunately, I fell asleep about 5 minutes in. He gave up, turned off the movie, brought me some blankets and went back to his room. About an hour later, Guillermo came and piled onto the couch with me. I was fast asleep, mind you. I awoke vaguely to the feeling of someone kissing my forehead and laying next to me. He then got up and wandered off back to his room for bed. About an hour later, Brian and Jenna came home. Brian chose to wave a sprig of rosemary in my face until I woke up. I not to coherently batted it away, as he said something like, Mollie, it smells good, and Jenna told him to leave me alone. Then I got some hugs. Then they wandered back to their room for bed.

I spent last night on the same big L couch, only this time Marcus was on the other half. We fell asleep with our feet touching.

It's nice to be back amongst my cuddly friends. The friends that know that that's just the way I am. And that's sort of how they are, too. The house that I once lived in was a very cuddly house. It's nice to be back for a bit.

ahh, four peaks, how i have missed you

I got off the plane yesterday, was picked up by the lovely and fantastic Meg, and dropped off at Four Peaks. That's right folks, I went straight to Four Peaks from the airport. And it was fantastic, although it was the top of the batch of hef, and I really prefer the bottom. You know, once it turns a little more orange and gets a little thicker. Yum.

So, I am home. Home? Ummm. I am in Tempe. Well, Mesa at the moment. It's nice. My birthday (the SF part) was fantastic, and my friends are fantastic, and made me this amazing amazing card and took me out to a fantastic dinner and it was fantastic and I love them.

On another note entirely, Justin asked me last night three questions, which I now want to ask of everyone I know and meet. I ask them here. For all three of you that read this, please answer.
1) What would you do if you were given a million dollars today?
2) What would you do if you were given 100 million dollars today?
3) What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

my answers:
1) I would finish out my current job (hooray contracts), and then travel. I would go see as much as possible, living out of a backpack, with no plans. I would take pictures and write in detail about what I saw, documenting what's going on in the world away from the united states's attention. Then, I would come home and basically go back to my life now. Except, I would only have to do projects I wanted to do, and I could afford health insurance.
2) Same as above, except first I would buy a house. Then go travel. Then come back and work for a bit (same as i do now) and figure things out. Then, I would take some of the money, grab some friends, and go start a theater company somewhere crazy. A company for a group of people that don't normally get a voice. We would facilitate, teach, organize. The people that joined would write, perform, design, etc. And the remnants of the money, I would donate either to:
a)arts organizations of some kind
b)international federation of planned parenthood
c)some environmentalist cause
3) Moved to San Francisco with no job, no money, and without a good support structure kind of on a whim.

Let's here it, folks. I'm fascinated. Also, see you soon!

just to tell you i had a pretty good day

I woke up early on a Saturday morning. I got dressed. I made myself some hot water with lemon. I packed up supplies for the day: a boom box, 2 flashlights, lots of pens, a pad of paper, some cds, a scarf...you know, the usual things you need for work. I got in my car, opened the gate, pulled out into the driveway. And. The gate closed. And. I was leaving early for work even. That's a pretty good start. Anyway, drove through the city, across the bridge, up to San Anselmo. By the by, that is a drive that, despite it's length (depending on traffic, up to 1 hour and a half each way), never gets old. It's fantastically beautiful. Especially on the way back into the city, if you cross the bridge right at sunset. Mmphh. Oh. Right. Back to my day. I had "mock tech" today. With 2 of my classes of elementary school kids. 27 4th and 5th graders, from 2 different schools (so they don't know each other) in one small room on a Saturday morning. And every single one of them was happy to be there. I am an f*ing badass teacher. So, I taught 4th and 5th graders how to run a show today. And then we did a little practice. My spot ops had flashlights, my sound op had a boom box, my light board op had the light switch to the room and the blinds, my a.s.m. and run crew moved around music stands and a trash can and a piano bench. And my stage managers (one for each class) called a few cues. Let me tell you, they called those cues better than some I've witnessed (coughWASPcough). Then I drove home. Already mentioned the drive home. Then I had an interview to stage manage Candide for Rough and Tumble theater company. Good interview. Want to do the show. Even though it pays next to nothing. And then I walked to Dolores park, and sat at the top and people watched and read act 1 of Candide and enjoyed the perfect and amazing weather. Then I came home, and I've been hanging with Gilly and Lisa and Pat and Flower and having some hot water with lemon and some dinner. Oh, and watching a bit of season 2 of west wing. And, right now, I'm writing to the artistic director of Dell'Arte to express my interest in technical directing the Mad River Festival, on the request/suggestion of the production manager and the booking manager. Rockin'. I loved working for them on Grasshopper. And I would love to spend some more time in Blue Lake. Also, the Mad River Festival sounds like pretty good times. So. I had a pretty good day. But, alas, I can't recite the members of Congress in alphabetical order.

also. obama won louisiana, nebraska, washington and the virgin islands today. good.

also. becca today said to me:
"i should pay myself or something"
and
"i'm trying to eat more stuff"

I miss her.

AND

i slept through another earthquake last night. Gilly (the girl who sleeps on the other side of puppy from me and has a funny accent and wears jumpers) woke up. Apparently, the building made a big bang, and then trembled from the ground up. And then Gilly said, pitifully, and in the funny accent: Mollie? And she was sad because I slept through it. I'm 0 for 3 on noticing earthquakes since I moved to SF. What is my deal?!?!?!?

for ed

I read too much alternative news. An article about Hillary v. Barack. This makes me feel better. Well, about my vote for Obama. Not about Hillary.

On another note, I remembered what else I was going to say about voting. In SF, the ballot, and the I Voted! sticker, is in 3 languages, and they are required to assist you in 4. I like living in a place with a big brown population. Also, it makes me seem like I'm on time places, when really, I'm 5 minutes late.

Ea Sola was good. I also like my friends.

My brother moved to Phoenix this week. Called my mom on Tuesday to say he had moved and started a new job. He lives (wait...lived) with my parents. This is why I seem like the good kid. But, I think it's good. He's working for the dad of one of the Pathway parents, and the dad is bugging him to go to meetings again. And, it also means that he'll be around pathway kids, instead of restaurant people, who are not exactly sober.

I'll be back in Tempe in 4 days. We'll wedding anniversary and birthday it up. And you should feel free to take me out for lunch/dinner/beer. Especially as I didn't make it to Four Peaks in December. (It was bad. I almost cried. I don't want to talk about it.)

Oh, and William voted. That's why I think "we'll" (whoever the f*ck that is) win this election. Unlikely voters are f*ing pissed off. And voting. As a very wise person once said (Aaron Sorkin, via Amy Gardner), If a 3rd party candidate wins, it'll be because of unlikely voters. Or something like that (Julia, help?...maybe I just need to pop in that season). I know, a West Wing quote...how surprising coming from me. Anyway. Good job, William. Even though you don't read this.

K, bed time. Tomorrow, work @ the troupe. Drinks with Amanda. Some beat boxing show or something. And then? I have to work early on Saturday, though.