all of a sudden

It's winter. I think it happened on Friday. Just a sweater and a scarf aren't enough anymore. It's windy. It's rainy. I haven't seen the sun in 4 days. The trees have finished shedding their leaves, all that's left are bare branches and the straggler leaves on the ground.

Today, I sat in a cafe with Ben Levy, and worked on the east coast tour. We booked our travel, we scheduled our residency rehearsal time in Philadelphia, we ironed out scheduling for D.C and New York, we talked about our presence at APAP, I have a whole new list of things to do. I never would have guessed, a year ago, 6 months ago, 4 months ago, that I would be planning an east coast tour, sitting in a cafe next to a park, feeling the rumble of the N go by up the hill, looking out the window and bare trees and gray skies and people hurrying by in coats and hats.

A good portion of my friends from "back home" (and the ones that don't live there anymore) are getting engaged, getting married, falling in love, starting new relationships. I feel a little left behind, but then I remember. I left them behind. I picked up and moved to a new city. I decided that I have different priorities. And, right now, those priorities are working basically all the time, doing amazing theater (and dance), touring to the east coast, enjoying the difference between summer, fall and winter. And, I'm feeling pretty good about that. Being in a new city, with new people, making a living doing what I love, that's what I'm doing now. I'm not ready to settle down. I'm 23, for goodness sakes, and I can't do what I'm doing if I settle. I'm starting my life in a completely different way. And I have to be ok with that. I have to remember that I chose this. That I have no regrets about this choice. I am ok, I'm happier than I can really remember being. Even though, sometimes, it's a little lonely.